Friday, March 31, 2006

almost fainted in sch today. i guess i'm already at my peak.
despite the fact tat i kept telling ppl tat i'm gonna to cry, i manage to not to.
have not been sleeping early recently, coz of projects.
I was under a lot of pressure today. coz on one hand I was trying to compile a project tat is suppose to hand up tmr, on the other hand, my other grp mates were asking me for my part for another project. Plus the fact that my jap listening and oral start next week and my presentation too. all these stand a substatial portion of my exams grades. and i haven touch on any of them yet. i dun hav time to do it during weekends too. coz 2 birthday celebrations and my grp mates r still asking me to go back to sch during weekend.

i din tell my grpmates how stress i m coz i dun wan to demoralise them during this critical period. but i guess maybe they realized tat i m a bit quiet today. i juz excuse myself n went to compile the project alone. actually called some ppl to tok abt it today. but realised tat i really dunno wat to say and i end up hanging up the fone.

My head juz felt very painful and numb a while later, but i din care coz dun hav time to. after tat, juz feel like throwing up. Actually wanted to skip lesson to finish the project earlier so i wun feel so stress, but i went in the end coz tat class is the last class of the sem. Juz all of a sudden, my vision went a bit blurry and felt my muscles starting to give way.. fortunately, i was able to stay conscious.

i shall juz try to be a bit more optimistic..
hope from now till mon, everything will progress smoothly..


@L3xIz had fun on Friday, March 31, 2006



Monday, March 27, 2006

I WILL NOT cry...
Already on the verge to...
BUT I WILL NOT ALLOW THAT...
I WILL NOT be the pig tat cry over books and school work that seem impossible to finish...
HOW CAN I SUCCUMB TO THAT DISGUSTING PRESSURE WORD..
NO WAY..
I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED..


@L3xIz had fun on Monday, March 27, 2006



Saturday, March 25, 2006

暇が欲しいです。
外国へ行きたいです。
どこでもいいです。
誰か私に取って～


I want holidays.
I want to travel.
Anywhere also can.
Someone take me along~


@L3xIz had fun on Saturday, March 25, 2006



Friday, March 24, 2006

Nothing in this world is ever correct. Nothing. ur views can be correct no matter how wrong they seem to be as long as u r able to convince another to believe in wat u said. That is wat I strongly believe in. I wun say those believers r foolish, coz this is how the societal rulz r played. The power to convince is wat make one superior. Actions r neva wrong. Not even murder. Coz they r always a reason behind everything that happen. 'Wrong' is probably juz a word to tell ppl to stay away from things that do not enhance the goodness of the society. However, do u think all 'Correct' things enhance the goodness of the society? If u say yes, think again.


@L3xIz had fun on Friday, March 24, 2006



Thursday, March 23, 2006

Had struggled wid my 400 word japanese essay for 2 days. finally handed up today. hope tat it wun be rejected...

finally gotten my company for attachment. Will be working in Moore Stephen. it is a UK accounting firm. Was very happy when I knew the allocation results coz it's my first choice. *ganbarimasu!

Eversince the last 208 meeting for the Transamerica, eleanor's module (anatomy) had set me into thinking. I once asked my dad would he mind donating his body for school for educational or research purposes, and to my surprise, he answer straight away, saying that of course coz since he wun be needing it anyway, might as well give it to others that have uses for it. I was very shocked that he was not a least bit of hesitant in his answer. I tot that way of thinking was very noble. Coz I still cannot accept the thought of my lifeless body being cut up and place on the table for students to examine piece by piece. or the sight of my body being soak n preserve in transparent cases outside the classrooms. The only thing I can accept now is organ donation.

Guess I still have a lot to learn from my dad.


@L3xIz had fun on Thursday, March 23, 2006



Tuesday, March 21, 2006

'Evaluate me'

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Xiaoqing

thanx!!


@L3xIz had fun on Tuesday, March 21, 2006


'Busy but contented'

Really busy nowdays. To the extent tat blogging seems burdensome. Always find myself struggling to maintain the work balance of 4 projects on hand. Sometimes I even forgot which project I m meeting my grpmates for. Exams contribute a lot to my stress coz I din have time to start studying. Had been trying hard to clear all my readings. This sem, all my examinable modules r open book except jap. Quite worrying, coz open book usually means harder qn n 'no time to flip book'. I need a strategy. Had been taking notice of my health, eversince after chinses new year. I m glad that I had not fallen sick. Given my schedule, there's juz no time to fall sick.

Yesterday had been staying in sch till 11plus for a project. when I got on the taxi, I fell asleep immediately.

I m tired. But I m contented as well.

Satisfied that I m able to manage stress betta.
Satisfied that I m motivated to do stuff again.
Satisfied that I m not frequently sick for this sem.

And to look at a bigger picture,
Satisfied that I left only a year to complete my university degree.


@L3xIz had fun on Tuesday, March 21, 2006



Wednesday, March 15, 2006

'Tired, Stress & Pissed'

I've decided to cherish my freedom until I find a guy that is worthy for me to give it up.

Wasted my time doing silly stuff again. After finishing my stuff at 12.40am on tuesday, decided to complete a wallpaper within 20 min. Even my brother mocked at the idea. Ended up finishing the wallpaper at 1.25am. sigh~ find myself very sleepy the next day.

Easily pissed nowadays. Had been complaining to chin all my woes yesterday. I would need to calm myself down a little.

Very stressed up lately. It is to the extend tat I totally avoid thinking long term. The futherest I'll go will be 3 days max. Projects r swarming up all the time before I could finish existing ones. Not to mention tat all projects cums wif presentations. There r juz so many projects tat I sometimes got confused on which project report I m currently typing for. I dun even wan to count how many projects r there, juz dun wanna be scare and demoralise by the amounts. Not forgeting tat exams r 28 days away n I've started on none. Worst, my jap is the same day as my accounting exam. I wish tat we have 48 hrs in a day!


@L3xIz had fun on Wednesday, March 15, 2006



Wednesday, March 08, 2006

'Breather'

Finally a breather. Had try to convince my fren yesterday tat today's not the day for doing project. Felt so happy I finally had a day to myself.

So many things happy the past few months din even have time to blog.

Feb, 9
Skipped a 430 class to go celebrate a fren's 21 birthday at KBox. Felt very guilty for being a bad student. Was supposed to discuss a project before the main celebration, but landed up OVER celebrating. Project schedule was all forgotten. Took a neoprint. Neoprint was really fun! Went home around 10pm. Felt guilty again for abandoning projects and class.

Feb, 13
Went to sch and reached boon lay mrt station at 10am wif a EXPENSIVE watch put in a very nice box. was so afraid tat I would scratch it. Call my fren to meet at Jurong point. Both of us almost knocked down the shuttle gate of Goldheart Jewellery n kept pestering the saleperson in there to let us buy sth. In the end, the manager came n let us in. We were shocked by the price of gold n the common designs of the jewelleries. Had taken a long time to choose a piece tat was of reasonable price n a passable design. When we walked out of Goldheart feeling a sense of satisfaction, we realised tat we were very late for our 1030 class. During break, went to canteen intending to buy a cake and realised there was none. Had to substitute cake for 2 tarts. Had to search high n low for someone tat smokes (for a lighter). Was happy tat my frenz love their presents. Neva felt so rewarded for the effort put into giving birthday surprises before. Felt good wheneva my frenz tried to show off the presents that we bought to other ppl.

Feb, 27
Start wearing sunglasses when attending classes. Always invite weird glances from other classmates. Either thought that I was trying to bring in some fashion or I got punch the day before or my eyes r swollen due to some unknown reasons. Had to put up wif those weird stares until now. Was hopping tat my tutors dun think tat I was being rude to them.

Mar, 6
Had a BGR tok wif my frenz during break. Shall not disclose the content due to sensitivity. But felt glad that I m still single n free n owe no obligation to anione. Had another hilarious jap session again. Was practicing a newly learned jap convo wif my partner when another classmate screamed. She jumped out from her seat n ran in front of it, claiming tat she saw a shadow of cockraoch darting passed her bag. My sensei look surprised at first, then went up to the board and wrote "gokiburi" in katakana.

Sensei: "minna-san, COCKCROACH wa gokiburi desu yo~ Evan-san, gokiburi ga kirai desuka?"
Tutor: "everyone, coclcroach is known as gokiburi. Evan, do u dislike cockcroach?"
Evan: "hai, TODEMO kirai desu."
Evan: "Yes, VERY."
Sensei giggled and thought for a while before speaking: "Singapura no gokiburi wa OOKI desu ne~ Nihon yori. Nihon no gokiburi wa chiisai desu."
Tutor giggled and thought for a while before speaking: "The cockcroaches in Singapore are BIG. as compared to Japan. Japan's are small."
me and my partner: "sou desu ka?"
me and my partner: "really?"
Sensei: "soshite, koko no gokiburi wa TSUYOI desu yo~"
Tutor: "and, the cockcroaches here are STRONG~"

Then the class burst out laughing.
My sensei can really make weird comments sometimes.


@L3xIz had fun on Wednesday, March 08, 2006



Sunday, March 05, 2006

'ii kanji'
It felt good to be at the sea. Went cycling today. Since I can't swim and stuff, cycling is the last form of exercise in existence tat I can do. Hope I'll be able to do this every week. Back to work again. ganbarimasu~


@L3xIz had fun on Sunday, March 05, 2006



Friday, March 03, 2006

'Felt abused & bullied'

sometimes juz feel very bullied. Juz like today a little while ago. my mum had ask me to enquire abt sth which i think it is so super redundant to do so. But since she wanted to noe, I actually sat down and tok to her nicely abt how I feel abt her queries. Then she claimed that I dun wanna help her. To stop agitating her, i tried suggesting to call the person whom she wanted to ask.
But she prefer an email. When i told her tat the fastest way to clarify things is by phone, she blow up again and claimed that I hav no intention to help her at all since she told me abt this 10 days ago. She said tat all I noe is to stared at computer n do my own stuff - watch drama and variety show and wateva.

Din she know how much work & pressure I m gettin' from sch and my team mates each day?
Din she know how hard I work each day to finish my sch work?
Din she realised how hard I try to put on smiling face each day?
Din she realised that I dun even hav enough sleep everyday?
Din she realised that I hav been de-stressing alot thru diff mthd?

When she accused me, I really wanted to break down. The last thing I need in this stressful period is this.

Fortunately, I was able to hold those thoughts back.

I wan to be stronger this year.

and I will be.


@L3xIz had fun on Friday, March 03, 2006


'Tag game'

woa~ wat is this tag game abt?! m i the last one to noe?! well then, last but not least I present- ME!

Four things/people that make me smile:
1. when I see tegoshi ("tegoshi addicition naaa~")
2. 208 dearies
3. Attending my Jap class (coz my teacher n classmates r a super hilarious combi!!)
4. Toking crap wif my brother

Four ways to win my heart:
1. muz be intelligent
2. hav the power to make my day a happy one
3. love me for who I m
4. ocassional nice surprises

Four things I believe in:
1. nothing in this world is correct, it's juz the large amount of ppl believing in such theories or things that make them a custom practice
2. to keep up a genki spirit no matter when
3. to be yourself is not being afraid to be different
4. tat there r really some ppl out there tat u cannot surpass no matter how much effort u had put in

Four things I am afraid of:
1. bugs esp. roaches!!
2. pain
3. presentations~ (freaks! I hate those!)
4. dark

Four things I do everyday:
1. brush my teeth (make sure they SHINE like DIAMONDS~)
2. my hw/ tut/ projects (*sigh* I find that I m living it up to my zodiac (cows slog in fields, while I slog in ntu))
3. complaining my woes to everyone I see physically or on msn abt my busy schedule
4. de-stressing by watching shows that tegoshi starred in (hehe... \(^o^)/)

Four things/people I want to see now:
1. NEWS CONCERT!!! (as if i can go~ T_T)
2. 208 dearies
3. sit on one of the gronyes at east coast park at night to watch the aeroplanes fly pass one by one
4. a beautiful starry night sky! (like the ones I saw in aussieland during winter!!)

who else is there to tag?! in that case CHUN JING then. if she ever sees this.


@L3xIz had fun on Friday, March 03, 2006


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