Wednesday, June 28, 2006

my mood today is really confusing...
i really enjoyed myself in the office...
laughing wid fellow interns n XXXX toking n make fun of me...
some of my frenz suspected tat i like him...
which i later ask myself a lot of times...
the answer is i dun dislike him...
but i do feel kinda happy when he tok to me...
i guess tat dun mean anything lo...

i met another fren today for window shoppin..
i was kinda sad after tat..
i guess something juz dun last the way tat u wan it to be...
i find tat there's no common topic between us animore...
n dun think we click so well already...
it's as if i had lost a fren...
maybe i'm really thinking too much nowadays...
n plus jun is leavin' shanghai real soon...
i juz suddenly feel very lonely...
had been feelin' blue for days...

had tried smiling to the mirror juz now...
i looked horrible...

i have to regain my usual self...
i dun wan to cry when seeing jun off at the airport...

from now on, i'll make sure i constantly remind myself how ugly i look when i'm upset...


@L3xIz had fun on Wednesday, June 28, 2006



Tuesday, June 27, 2006

not feelin' happie today~
felt tat everything was at the wrong place~
had tried to laugh n smile the whole day to hide my sadness~
but it din go away~
it's okay~
after I wake up tmr, it'll be a fresh day again~


@L3xIz had fun on Tuesday, June 27, 2006



Monday, June 26, 2006

I had a good time at JJ concert~
though me n joyce was sitting kinda far away~
we still manage to see his physical action~
whereas for his facial emotion, we'll hav to look at the screen~

his voice is very good!!
really love the way he sings!!
he improve in his dance too!!
i remb there was once i saw him at a quite close distance (not at the concert), i find that he's kinda cute~
hahahaha~
if he opens another concert here next year, i'll most prob go again~

after the concert, while i was walking home, a man in his car tried to ask me out for a drink~
he juz parked his car at the roadside n tried chatting wid me~
i was so scared..
somemore it was kinda late at nite around 12 plus am...
i told him some lame excuses n walked home as fast as i could~
when i reached my doorstep, he still seemed to be lingering around my house area~
so scary...
maybe i shld hav called the police tat nite..

ma~
besides tat incident, i really enjoyed myself tat nite~


@L3xIz had fun on Monday, June 26, 2006


I m really traumatised by wat i saw in my dream..

in my dream i had saw the way tat ducks n turtles r slaughtered alive for food..
i saw their eyes - pleading n begging for help..
i saw their tears..
i saw their shock when their frenz got cut rite in front of their eyes..
i saw them hurdle close together in fear while their frenz' blood spattered on their faces..

n i screamed n begged for the butcher to stop..
she din..
suddenly, there's many voices behind me..
they r laughing at me..
saying tat i m ridiculous n exaggerating..
Y CUN THEY SEE THE HORROR IN THE ANIMALS' EYES!!!
Y CUN THEY STOP!!

the next moment, i woke up n found my mum rite beside me...
my face was very wet..
my mum claimed tat i had screamed n cried very loudly..

until today i still cun get over wat i witnessed..
it's as if i had saw the worst thing ever..


@L3xIz had fun on Monday, June 26, 2006



Sunday, June 25, 2006

I can see wat others normally dun see.
So I can feel wat others dun feel.
Why do ppl take away lives so easily?
why cun they feel the pain u suffered?
why cun they hear ur pleas n screams?
Why cun they see ur agony?
Every bite they take out of ur flesh, why cun they understand how wrongful u have died?
I m sorry I m so useless.
I hav no strength to change the system of this rotten world.
Wat I can do is to weep for ur passing.
The most, save u if u r in my path.
I m sorry I m so useless.


@L3xIz had fun on Sunday, June 25, 2006



Saturday, June 24, 2006

i made my fren cried on thurs during work~
i cun believe how insensitive i was~

her bf juz went to USA for scholarship study for 4 yrs~
then on thurs morning, she kept asking me whether it is possible to get an internship to work in US when she graduate~
i was like," huh? y u wanna do an internship?! since u grad then work in US!"
then ask me how to get jobs in US..
n before i can reply, she asked whether it is possible to get a job in US by applying through a subsidary in singapore..
i should hav realised how desparate she was to get to US~
but i was slow~
n i asked her, "u miss ur boyfren izzit?"

n the very next second, she cried so terribly in front of me~
i was so surprised until i juz stared at her for a few seconds~
then she cried n whispered, "pls dun mention him..."
n i finally woke up from my shocked state~
i reached out my hand n patted her back~
my mind spinning as fast as a computer processor, scanning every possible words of consolation or even jokes to say~
NOTHING...
i scanned thru' my brain again~
"pls let there be some lame jokes! pls let there be some lame jokes!" i screamed to my brain..
NOTHING...

n before i knew it, my mouth opened n said, "lucky u din put make-up today, or else it will smeared a lot.."
i had to slap myself invisibly for saying sth so dumb..
then i laugh awkwardly~

maybe she tot tat i looked dumb laughing in tat manner~
or maybe she tot tat i was laughing at how she will look if her make-up smeared~
she reached out her hand, hit me softly on my arms and she laughed through her tears~
phew.
mission accomplished.

a lesson learnt - be more sensitive from now onwards...


@L3xIz had fun on Saturday, June 24, 2006



Thursday, June 22, 2006

yesterday went to winebos to chill wid my frenz~
we ordered chardonney n dessert wine~
the nachos with salsa is very good!!
i wish i can get another helping for free!!

it was really a surprise tat they r gathering in order to celebrate my birthday~
when one of my fren took the wine glass n hold it to the center of the table n said "to the birthday gal~" , n the rest joined in n said "happy birthday!", i was really touched~

when i realised tat i was the youngest among the group, i felt so weird~
neva had the feeling of being the youngest n let others take care n protect me before~
maybe it's my environment ba~
being the eldest at home, my parents expect me to take care of the household mattters in some way or another~
when i'm wid my frenz, it's either i see to their needs or we look after each other~
even during work, when my male colleagues tried to shelter me from the nasty client, i also felt super weird~
i guess i'm not used to being protected by others~
but maybe it's not too bad to let others take care n protect u once in a while~

my frenz gave me a big SKII gift, which they purposely box it in a CK men's underwear box~
i really tot they r giving me men's brief for my birthday!!!
scare me~

2 days to JJ concert!!


@L3xIz had fun on Thursday, June 22, 2006



Tuesday, June 20, 2006

i m really very irritated today..
this 'gal' seems to be interested in XXXX..
this gal got bf, but i cannot be bothered abt her personal affairs..
when she's alone, she wants me to accompany her..
but i'm always alone.. (coz only the 2 of us in the dept)
however, i'm kinda ok wid tat coz i'm not so dependent all the time~
she'll always go find XXXX..
they will tok n laugh~
since i'm sitting opposite them, sometimes i'll find it a bit noisy..
the way she tok to him is so disgusting..
very 'teh'..
okie, maybe tat's the way she get guys~
n tat's her personal affairs, i shouldn't be bothered~

but the most outrageous thing is SHE SCOLDED ME TODAY RITE IN FRONT OF XXXX N A PERM STAFF FOR NOTHING!!!!
it's juz to make her look good rite in front of XXXX...
i m pretty sure i din do anithing wrong~
i din wanna quarrel wid her rite in front of everyone~
so i juz keep silent~

she always slack around~
dun wanna do work~
when the perm staff give her work tat she dun wanna do, she'll tell the perm staff to look for me n the rest of the interns~
when we already had so much things to do~
i mean by since we will be interns for 2 mths onli~
i can still tolerate tat~
wat was intolerable was she went to tell our sch professor tat she was scared tat the perm staff will appraise her badly as she was not given anything to do!!!!!!
...

lucky today someone took me out for out-office audit..
it made me feel so much betta~
may she disappear n dun appear rite in front of my eye ever~


@L3xIz had fun on Tuesday, June 20, 2006



Monday, June 19, 2006


my new fone din sound it's alarm in the morning~
was almost late for work~
felt very fortunate tat i reached on time~

sometimes i wonder y some ppl can express their emotions so freely~
i really wonder whether it's good or bad..

my sassy fren quarrelled wid her bf today~
i saw her crying after lunch in the office~
i asked, but she denied~
her bf sent her a big bouquet of roses to apologise much later in the day~
although i strongly suspect tat she's the one who started the fight first~
she's very fortunate to find someone tat love her so much~
really envy her~

went to my parents' fren's son wedding yesterday~
make me wonder abt how it will feels to attend my frenz' wedding~
the first image tat came to my mind was ellie's wedding~
there was a sudden mixture of happiness n sadness~
i wonder y..

went to parkway after tat~
caught some guys checking out my brother~
i'm not surprise tat even guys check my brother out, coz he's good looking~
me n my mum spent quite some time figuring out the reason behind~
our first guess: they r gays!
our second guess: they wanna make sure whether my brother is lin jun jie~
my brother simply ignore our enthusiasm~

Happie Father's Day!!



@L3xIz had fun on Monday, June 19, 2006



Saturday, June 17, 2006

got a motorola v3i from my dad for birthday~
so happie~
despite the fact tat i m still at a loss on how to use it~
my brother bought me sth over hundred bucks~
make me very touched~

yesterday a colleague of mine ask me go dinner~
it's XXXX, 208 pple will noe~
coz i'm the onli intern going~
so i decided to turn it down again (actually i rejected their offers a lot of times before)~
this time i told him personally tat i m not going coz i'm meetin my frenz (which is true but at a later time)~
i think he looked kinda disappointed~
i felt bad also~
but i dun feel so comfortable around all the perm staff alone also~

met my frenz at plaza singapura~
bernard accompanied me first since i reached early~
suddenly realised tat he kinda talkative~
find tat all of them looked betta than before~
lol~
esp. someone~
hehe~
if u r still slow, ask me in msn~

during the dinner, bernard said i dun look nice in uniform..
n the guys kept repeating tat i looked only a little bit betta than before~
the whole conversation sounded like i'm "VERY horrible looking" during JC n now i juz manage to attain (finally) the "A BIT horrible looking" standard..
so evil..
i mean, i m not pretty but not no need to keep hurting my weak pride ma..
i rather they juz keep silent abt it~
felt so inferior the whole nite n this morning..
told my brother abt wat they said..
my brother said: "their head lah! dun listen to their rubbish~"
i'm again so touched~
coz he dun say such a thing to me before~
he'll usually agree wid other ppl~
tell me i look terrible in all clothes tat i've chosen n he will neva find a gf tat is like me~
if the whole world onli left tat gal tat is like me, he'll stay single~

i so bad meh??


(left) bernard, me, junjie, diana, winston (right)



@L3xIz had fun on Saturday, June 17, 2006



Tuesday, June 13, 2006

went to buy CHOCZ chocolate today for a female colleague who is leaving the company tmr~
haven tried any of them myself, thus i asked the staff to recommend~
he ask me whether it is for myself or for someone else~
i told him it's a gift~
then he picked for me the varieties of chocolates~
when he showed me wat he picked, my first impression was "why does it seemed a bit "man" type of chocolates..."
before i can clarify further, he explained tat all the variaties tat he picked were the best selling amongst the lot~
upon hearing his assurance, i hurriedly change my initial query to "okay. i'll trust u."
seeing my reaction, he gave the weirdiest smile i'd ever seen.
n tat made me suspect tat he din get some things correct~
but i din said anything, coz he seemed to be putting all his concentration on wraping the chocolates into a nice box~
finally when i paid n decided to go off, he told me
"thank you n dun worry, i'm sure HE will like it!"
n give the weird smile again...
i opened my mouth to clarify but since it seemed a little too late then, i shut my mouth, n tried my best to smile back...


@L3xIz had fun on Tuesday, June 13, 2006



Monday, June 12, 2006

going to fall asleep the whole day at work today~
coz slept at 12am yesterday~
the moment i closed my eyes, i'll start dreaming~
even maintainin' a slit on each eye was a tough battle~
i had to resort to hiding in the toilet to take a quick nap~
so tat i wun risk making a mess on the tax computation on the company i was assigned to~

had an enjoyable time yesterday~
i love my presents!!
thanx lots, everyone!!

felt so embarassed when the restaurant suddenly juz played birthday song for me~
all their other customers were staring at me~
juz wanted to dig n hide in a hole somewhere~
i can't even concentrate on making wishes~
the moment i cut the cake, i felt my heart ache~
the cake cost $200+, i got to see it only in less than 5 min, n i need to destroy it~
but the cake was delicious~
at least i was sure tat everyone enjoed the cake as much as i do~
the ktv session was the best!
szeman was darn entertainin'!
the way she went 'off-key' and 'shake her legs' thru' each n every song was so hilarious~
pity tat becky din sing~
to think tat i actually look forward to her singing spice gal's wannabe~
sigh.

found out from my mum this morning tat one of my cousins is married, another is gettin' married, n the last one is planning to get married~
no wonder my aunt told me to "get a prince charming soon"~
y is everyone telling me to get a bf?!
i believe tat i will meet him someday if we r fated to~
so no rush~

excited tat i'm going to JJ's concert wid joyce!!!!
it's my first concert experience!!!!!
+ seeing cute guy n hearing nice songs live!!
i m so looking forward to june 24!!







@L3xIz had fun on Monday, June 12, 2006



Saturday, June 10, 2006

HAPPIE BIRTHDAE BUSHA~
a warm n simple celebration~
enjoyed myself except for the part where i waited 1+ hours for the arrival of everyone in 208...
208 really HAVE to change this bad habit~
late for 10 min is acceptable~
but if it stretches into hours, it's a bit too much~
can we try to be as punctual as possible next time??

was thrilled to see the news below:-

TOKYO — Ken Watanabe has joined the cast of Clint Eastwood's upcoming film about Iwo Jima, titled "Red Sun, Black Sand" (formerly "Lamps Before the Wind"), Dreamworks Studio announced Wednesday. "Red Sun, Black Sand" is one of two films that the 75-year-old director is making about the six men who raised an American flag on Mount Suribachi during World War II. It tells the story from the Japanese side of the battle, while the other film, "Flags of Our Fathers," shows the U.S. point of view. Both are scheduled for simultaneous release in the fall.

Watanabe, 46, best known for his role as the title character in "The Last Samurai," will star as Lt-Gen Kuribayashi. Other Japanese actors cast in the film include Kazuya Ninomiya, 22, from the popular group Arashi, and Shido Nakamura, 33. They and other actors were chosen through videotape auditions, Dreamworks said.

Ninomiya, who will make his Hollywood film debut, said he will put as much passion as he can into the role and hopes that the relatives of those who died in the battle for Iwo Jima will feel empathy.

Most of the dialogue in "Red Sun, Black Sand" will be in Japanese, Dreamworks said.The film is being produced by Steven Spielberg.

The Oscar-winning Eastwood visited Tokyo Gov Shintaro Ishihara last year to seek support for the films. Before meeting the governor, he went to Iwo Jima, one of the Ogasawara islands in the Pacific 1,200 kms south of Tokyo.

Ishihara asked Eastwood to respect Japan's fallen soldiers. The director told Ishihara that he would "absolutely not" trample on Japanese feelings.

Eastwood hopes to film some of "Red Sun, Black Sand" on Iwo Jima and told USA Today this week that "I'll be the only non-Japanese-speaking person within miles." Japanese-American screenwriter Iris Yamashita is writing the script for film, in consultation with Paul Haggis, who adapted "Flags," and who directed this year's best picture Oscar winner "Crash."

The Battle of Iwo Jima in 1945 left 21,000 Japanese and 6,800 U.S. soldiers dead in one month. It produced one of the most impressive images of the war, a photograph of six U.S. military personnel raising a U.S. flag on the high point of the island.The photo, by Associated Press photographer Joe Rosenthal, was the subject of controversy after it emerged it had not been taken under fire as previously reported but may have been posed.

The two films are based on the book "Flags of Our Fathers" by James Bradley and Ron Powers. It chronicles one man's attempt to piece together his father's role in raising the U.S. flag on Iwo Jima.

nino is going to start his very first hollywood debut!!
so exciting!!
i wanna see this 2 movies!!


@L3xIz had fun on Saturday, June 10, 2006



Wednesday, June 07, 2006

do i sound like i'm bluffing when i said i dun hav bf n neva had one before?
after convincing my frenz tat i really dun hav, they straight away jump to the conclusion tat my expectation is too high~
eh~
really meh?
i dun think so lo~

my expectation:-
1) he muz like me
2) he muz be intelligent
3) he muz hav a sense of humour
4) we muz be able to communicate

this one call high meh~
it's not as if i din meet this type of guys, but if condition 1 is not fulfilled, i'll not try at all~
i'm not tat type of gals tat will woo guys juz bcoz i like them~
i rather give them up if they dun show any signs tat they like me~
i would rather describe my situation as probably i have not met the right one tat the attractions run both ways~

looking forward to the fri n sun!!!


@L3xIz had fun on Wednesday, June 07, 2006



Tuesday, June 06, 2006

went shoppin wif my colleagues~
my fren becaming a bridesmaid soon~
whoa~
muz be fun!!
when's my turn?!
haha~

bought a brooch to wear for my b'day~
hope tat it'll match the dress i intend to wear~

not dressing up for charmaine's party~
unless u wan be to be the laughing stock of the day in office~

promise my fren to bring my shades tmr~
we'll hav a "shades" sharing session~
how fresh~
hehe...

had lost my way in the midst of orchard again~
walking out from taka, i suddenly forgot where to take 14 to go back home~
was walking up n down the streets, thinking so hard~
n to think tat i reassure my colleagues moments ago tat i noe how to go home~

miss everyone of my frenz~
had not seen them in a long time~
work is gettin' tougher~
but i dun wan to bow down to challenges~
if i cannot win it over, at least let me be on par wid it~


@L3xIz had fun on Tuesday, June 06, 2006



Sunday, June 04, 2006


(back left) siew leng, rachel, vanelle, grace, me (center)

taken wif fellow interns in office~
colleagues tot we last day~


@L3xIz had fun on Sunday, June 04, 2006


finally can upload pix thru blogger..
neoprint taken in taipei before taking the miramar ferris wheel~



@L3xIz had fun on Sunday, June 04, 2006


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